I actually wanted to post something completely different, but I felt that I should write this one today. Perhaps someone needs to hear it. Or, perhaps I just needed to write it.

In Zanzibar I went to a house church. I can prattle on and on about how amazing this experience was, but today I’m going to talk about one thing I learned: prophesying… and walking.

The tiny community I was with were completely open to hear what the Father wanted to say; they called things out of me in a few weeks what others couldn’t see until a few months.

I found this encouraging and wanted to start doing the same thing for others. When I came back to the States I found myself walking in boldness to share with others what the Lord wanted to tell them. It felt like Jesus and I were a team, and it was great to see how much he wanted to speak to his children. Yes, even to those who may hate him.

Unfortunately, my walk has become clumsy–tripping over fears and stumbling around onlookers–now that I’m back on campus. Yesterday, I passed up the opportunity to pray for this guy’s back, even though I knew I was supposed to. I attend a Christian university so it’s not like I have persecution to face, instead I fear a monster far more insidious–judgement.

Judgement is the thick, invisible sludge that traps its victims starting with the feet and gradually works its way up until its prey is completely devoured.

I’m afraid I will be judged for being too “spiritual” (whatever the heck that means). Why do I fear this? Because I have been the one to cast judgement on others for being too “bold” with their faith. Honestly, I was just an insecure, jealous brat. I can still be at times. But I’m learning to stop comparing myself with others.

My walk of faith is my walk of faith, and I should be overjoyed that others are finding fulfillment in their walk with Christ.

This scripture encouraged me to write this post today:

Soon another Feast came around and Jesus was back in Jerusalem. Near the Sheep Gate in Jerusalem there was a pool, in Hebrew called Bethesda, with five alcoves. Hundreds of sick people—blind, crippled, paralyzed—were in these alcoves. One man had been an invalid there for thirty-eight years. When Jesus saw him stretched out by the pool and knew how long he had been there, he said, “Do you want to get well?”

The sick man said, “Sir, when the water is stirred, I don’t have anybody to put me in the pool. By the time I get there, somebody else is already in.” Jesus said, “Get up, take your bedroll, start walking.” The man was healed on the spot. He picked up his bedroll and walked off. -John 5:1-9

Blind, crippled, paralyzed–which one are you?

Are you too blind to see that the Father has good plans for you, despite who you are?
Are you too crippled by past hurts or mistakes?
Or are you like me, too paralyzed with fear (or doubts) to get up and move?

The Father is not asking us or begging us, he’s commanding us to get up and walk because he can’t stand to see his children sick and motionless.

This has been a very different blog from the last two, I guess I just needed to get that off of my chest. Thanks for listening. More on Zanzibar coming soon!


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